Drowning Unconciously[closed]
Sept 15, 2007 19:15:49 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2007 19:15:49 GMT -5
[Closed for Seyka]
Warm sensations of flesh running through your hair, warm lips pressed to your own, like they hold your soul in their grasp. Like the moment their lips pull away you become a servant, bond to their every living will. Bond to do as they say, and then that very soul falls into the hands of one you never thought could hold you tight. Do you feel these sensations?
I would hate…
To be alone…
Hair thrown to one side in an askew fashion, and clothes punked out with pink plaid pants and a black tank top with a multitude of the words love and images of skulls and stars. A bandanna held in one hand, and a bottle held in the other. Walking slowly through the streets with a bag slung over one shoulder, with simple contents like munny. She threw the bottle hard, letting it shatter its contents against the brick wall, but it didn’t matter.
Kammi’s knee buckled and she felt herself roll to the ground, but she pushed herself up quick; no matter how off balance it put her first few paces. Every step seemed turned around as she yelled to the dark, “Screw this!” And even though she wasn’t conscious enough to realize, she knew she had passed the mark she was always scared to cross. The boundaries were always the same, but even still, she seemed to be lured to them.
No matter how she tried to hold herself together it never seemed to work, no matter the situation. Ryou didn’t seem enough; he was never there to hold her together all the time. And she wasn’t willing to ask him for such things, to give his whole life to her, no matter how much she was willing to do it for him.
Maybe Kammi was just crossing over medical disturbance, she needed constant protection, she was against many a man and woman, she never drank responsibly, and she cared more about a good fight then protecting her virtue. And all of this made Kammi feel like she wasn’t worth Ryou, because the truth was that she wasn’t. Ryou was elegant, rich, beautiful, careful, a good fighter, and a protector. Kammi could never be any of that, no matter how much she thought she could. No matter how much she tried. No matter how much she tried to make it a lifestyle she could handle. She wasn’t worth Ryou. A thrift store was a more likely place to find one such as her.
All these thoughts drifted through her, and she couldn’t make them stop. The darkened night seemed to be drifting away before her as she walked to the edge of the beach, able to see the waves rolling in slowly. Over the horizon was a soft pink, but no sight of the sun. Twilight was here, as the moon was up above.
Kammi dropped her bandanna on top of her bag in to sand, and began to walk through. She couldn’t feel the cool sand through her shoes, and she walked. Her eyes were hooded ad she walked, and tripped multiple times. The town was beyond the beach a small distance, and she looked to the clouded sky that spoke rain, or worse. She had heard the warning of hurricane through the town’s people, but she couldn’t be sure. Her head was stuffy, clouded like everything else. She was falling apart, and she felt there was nothing good coming from her, and nothing ever would. She needed drugs, alcohol was the preferred choice. Her head spun once around in agitation as she felt the first rain drop of her forehead, and it seemed to burn.
“Ahhh!” She screamed as hard as she could out into the ocean as she watched the water come up to her sneakers. Kammi fell back, her hair becoming filled with sand, and she could hear the waves growing, and the boats not far off moving, and the rain against her face and body begin to become stronger. It felt all like it wasn’t real, like she wasn’t feeling or hearing any of this.
Kammi was to unconscious, out of it, to say she needed a doctor, or something of the sort to help her. Anything really, any person.
A soft breeze came, and sand landed on her face, softly still. No matter the noise around her that filled her head continually she didn’t know anything. She wasn’t able to acknowledge she was unconscious, or the sounds, or the feelings, or anything.
And surely the people of the town were in to much of a hurry to get inside to even care about the girl in the sand on the beach that could drown from the coming hurricane.
And Kammi couldn’t care in the least on what happened to her.
I won’t say anything, I won’t hear anything, I won’t touch anything, I won’t be anything…
Is this…me?
...I need a hard liquor...